


Read at 01:45 AM

by JustAnotherStranger



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: "references" lmao, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Possibly Unrequited Love, References to Depression, because we love that shit in this household
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2019-11-05 19:31:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17924975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAnotherStranger/pseuds/JustAnotherStranger
Summary: Two weeks.Doesn't sound like a long time, does it? Well, to Arin, two weeks was beginning to feel like an eternity.





	1. Chapter 1

Arin’s eyes were burning.

There had to be a psychological limit to someone’s sanity after checking the same chat every ten minutes for a reply. Did it shock him that there was _still_ no response? Not really, no. Did that stop the wave of disappointment from hitting him when he saw no new messages? Of course it didn’t.

The last message dated back to exactly two weeks ago. Now, for the sake of argument, Arin conceded that two weeks wasn’t actually a long time. He was over thirty years old. Two weeks didn’t even cut a small percentage into his lifespan. Despite knowing that, it had felt like a true eternity to him because for those two excruciating weeks, Arin Hanson hadn’t talked to Dan _once_.

Arin put his phone down angrily on his desk, staring at the computer in front of him. Hundreds of unread emails, tons of projects to manage, a new show to schedule, everything swirled around on the monitor as if to taunt his lack of focus. He rubbed his eyes and winced as the pain and rawness shot through him. On top of everything, obviously he hadn’t slept well. How could he when every time he closed his eyes his best friend would appear before his eyelids and taunt him? How could he possibly get any damn rest when Dan’s beautiful laugh echoed in his ears any time there was silence?

A laugh he hadn’t gotten to hear in exactly two weeks, three hours, and twenty five minutes. No, he wasn’t counting.

He stood abruptly, knocking his knees against the desk with a painful thump. He grabbed his coat off his chair and hurried out of the office, oblivious to the five pairs of eyes that stared sadly after him before slowly resuming their work. One pair of eyes watched him longer than the rest, before quietly slipping out and following behind him.

Arin felt numb. He felt like his entire world was falling to pieces around him. Why did he have to open his big dumb mouth and ruin everything all the time? He slumped down onto the stairs in front of their building, head in his hands.

"I’m sure he just needs time to think, babe.” A gentle hand came to rest on his shoulder before he felt the weight of another body come to rest beside him.

“Two weeks, Suze.” His voice was quiet, as if saying it out loud would solidify the fact that Dan would never speak to him again. “Nobody could tell that he acted differently when we grumped, but I could. I could tell he didn't want to be near me, Suzy.”

“I’m sure that’s not-”  
  
“Isn’t it?” His voice was full of bitterness, causing his wife to wince in response. As if he didn’t feel guilty enough already. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to lash out. I’m just so fucking- I should have never said anything.”

Suzy’s hand in his definitely helped ground him a little. She rubbed her thumb over his knuckles, knowing it helped calm him down in stressful situations.

“How would you have known he would react like this? Don’t blame yourself for something that isn’t up to you.”

She was right, naturally, there was no way of knowing that Dan would react so negatively. That didn’t stop Arin’s heart from coiling itself in self-hatred and guilt. He felt his hand reaching into his pocket, too emotionally numb to stop himself, and checked the chat again.

 

[Read 01:45 AM]

 

He handed his phone to Suzy, not wanting to see those words anymore. She pocketed it without a word. 

He was grateful for her. Suzy had been through all of this and hadn’t so much as blinked when Arin had told her about his feelings for Dan. Suzy was his rock, and despite all of her support, he was drowning. Dan hadn’t responded the way Arin thought he would.

First there was silence. A lot of it. Dan stared into his eyes as if to discern whether or not he was joking. He wasn’t.

Then, there was denial. He laughed uncomfortably, shifting on the grump couch as if Arin was suddenly the most contagious man on Earth and that if Dan was any closer he would catch the _gay_. “That’s funny, man. So when are we filming the next ten minute power hour? At five?”

“Dan, I’m being serious. I love you.”

“Seriously man, you’re making me uncomfortable.” It stung Arin like a thousand knives had embedded themselves into his heart.

“I see. Sorry.” He stood up, keeping his eyes downcast, and making sure to slam the door to the room that was once their comfort place as hard as he could.

The next day their interactions had been mechanical. The episodes they filmed had lacked their usual charm, and it felt like all their humour was forced. Once they were done recording, without so much as a glance or an “I’ll see you later, man”, Dan left him behind. The day after went the same way. And the day after that.

Until the fourth day, when Dan never came.

Two weeks had gone by since then, and no word from Dan. Their last messages were Arin pleading for the two of them to at least talk it out, but his pleas went unheard- or at least un-replied to. Dan had read his messages.

It kept him up at night. He wondered what Dan was thinking. He wondered how Dan was doing. He wanted to hear Dan laugh again. So much so that he wished he had never confessed at all. At least then they would still be best friends.

“It’s cold, babe, why don’t you just head home for today?” Suzy’s words brought him out of his own mind, and while he turned to look at her, he wasn’t fully listening.

“I have things to do.”

“Arin, you’re not going to get anything done like this. Just head home for today.”

“What kind of boss does that make me if I go home whenever I like?”

“I’m sure everyone will understand.” Suzy spoke as if she knew what the others were thinking, and this definitely brought Arin out of his own thoughts.

“The other don’t know what happened do they?”

He could see in Suzy’s eyes that they had a good feeling. He felt his gut drop to his feet, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach. “I think I will go home after all.” As he pulled his hand out of hers, he could tell she felt sorry for him. His own wife felt sorry for him, as if his high school promposal had been rejected and he was on view for the entire school. He couldn’t bear to deal with it all anymore. He held his hand out.

Suzy didn’t move.

“Suze, please.”

With a sigh, his phone was returned to him.

Leaving her behind, Arin headed for the parking lot, eyes kept straight ahead. He knew that if he turned around, he wouldn’t like the sad look on her face. He found their car and just as he was about to open it, he felt his pocket vibrate, sending his heart into his throat. He rushed to pull his phone out, unlocking it in a panic.

 

[1 New Message -- Brian Wecht]

 

He felt his knees buckle. Of course it wasn’t Dan. Why would it be Dan? He didn’t even bother opening the text from Brian, slipping the phone back into his pocket.

How would Suzy get home if he took the car?

He didn’t want her to worry about getting a ride, so he left the car where it was. She had her set of keys. He could walk home. It wasn’t that far. As he walked, Dan’s voice repeated maliciously in his mind.

 

_you’re making me uncomfortable._

 

_you’re making me uncomfortable._

 

_that’s funny, man._

 

Dan was right. It was hilarious. Hilarious that Arin thought he would receive a positive response in the first place. Why had he expected anything else? Dan was more comfortable with gay humour, but he was still as straight as the arrow he unknowingly shot through Arin's heart. 

He pulled out his phone, feet dragging along the sidewalk as if he had no energy to lift them any higher. It was getting dark outside.

 

[8 New Messages -- Brian Wecht]

 

He ignored them and opened the chat to he and Dan’s conversation, rereading the messages for what could have been the hundredth time that day. 

\----- [Two weeks ago] -----

 

 **Big cat:** Dan, please, just talk to me.

 

 **Big cat:** If it genuinely makes you uncomfortable I won’t bring it up again.

 

\----- [One week ago] -----

 

 **Big cat:** Are we really not going to talk about this?

 

 **Big cat:** We still have a show to run. You haven’t been to the office in two days dude, we’re running out of pre-filmed material.

 

 **Big cat:** The least you could do is pretend to still want to be friends with me.

 

\----- [Four days ago] -----

 

 **Big cat:** Do you hate me?

 

 **Big cat:** Is that why you’re not coming to the grumps office anymore?

 

 **Big cat:** I’m sorry, okay?

 

 **Big cat:** I should have never said anything. If I could take it all back, I would.

 

 **Big cat:** I can’t believe you’d want to stop being friends over this.

 

\----- [Three days ago] -----

 

 **Big cat:** I hope you’re doing okay.

 

 **Big cat:** Just thinking about you.

 

\----- [Two days ago] -----

 

 **Big cat:** Sometimes I find something funny, and I go to send it to you, and then I remember that we’re not talking.

 

 **Big cat:** I wish we were.

 

 **Big cat:** I miss you.

 

 **Big cat:** Not in the romantic way. I mean like friendship miss. I miss talking to you. I miss joking around.

 

\----- [Yesterday] -----

 

 **Big cat:** I’m sorry.

_[Read 01:45 AM]_

 

His head felt like it was filled with heavy clouds. He could feel his vision swim as he put his phone away, missing his pocket entirely and hearing his phone clatter to the ground.

For a minute, he couldn’t see his phone. The world around him spun and swam as if he had snorted all the happiness left in the world. A drug. That’s what happiness was. It was a drug that he had begun to experience withdrawals from because any happiness he felt seemed to leave the same day Dan did. 

Maybe Suzy was right. Maybe Dan needed time to think about how he could possibly stay friends with someone who’s into him.

Arin would give him time. Sure. No problem.

But then who would give Arin time?

He pulled himself together, continuing on his path home.

Although, to him, it felt like with every step he took his “home” was getting farther and farther away.


	2. Chapter 2

_The least you could do is pretend to still want to be friends with me._

Messy brown curls folding in on themselves as the thin frame of a man shrinks impossibly deeper into the couch.

 

 **[Daniel Avidaniel is typing. . .]**  

 

_Do you hate me?_

A phone being slammed onto a table.   

 

**[Daniel Avidaniel is typing. . .]**

 

_I hope you’re doing okay._

****Escalating voices. Crying.

 

**[Daniel Avidaniel is typing. . .]**

 

_Just thinking about you._

Endless phone calls. Endless voicemails. 

 

**[Daniel Avidaniel is typing. . .]**

 

_I miss you._

Sleepless nights. Regret. 

 

**[Daniel Avidaniel is typing. . .]**

 

_I’m sorry._

[Read 01:45 AM].

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I didn't really expect to write more than one chapter I had to really think about where I wanted this to go. Until then, I hope you'll accept this smol but meaningful update <3


	3. Chapter 3

Time has a funny way of moving on.

It never asks you for permission, and it doesn’t listen when you beg for it to stop. You can whine all you like and hope for it to turn back so you can fix that one mistake in the seventh grade, or hope that it stops entirely so you can get those extra few hours of sleep, but it never fucking does. It just moves forward towards whatever infinity lies at the end of life’s useless rainbow.

Arin had learned that the hard way.

He tried to plead with his alarm clock as it went off every morning, hoping that he could have a few more hours because _god_ he was not ready to face the day. Every time his eyes would land on Dan’s desk he would startle himself with a blooming emptiness and wish that things he could go back in time and beat the shit out of himself for messing everything up. Time moved on, but Arin felt like he was being dragged with it by the collar of his shirt.

It sucked. Arin was tired of being dragged around. He was just tired in general. It was like that until eventually he had given up. On the Fourth Week Without Dan, Arin had stopped bargaining with time.

He woke up that morning and simply shut off his alarm before standing up and heading into the washroom. It felt powerful. _He_ felt powerful.

Arin drove to work that day and got real work done. Real work that he had been putting off for weeks was getting done, and it sent a surge of adrenaline through his system. He called a meeting and pretended not to notice the looks of confusion and concern from his friends as he began to plan out the next few weeks. They discussed how to fill the hole left by the lack of episodes, and where to go from there.

He felt like he was on a high.

It was the first day he had been productive in four weeks, and in that brief moment, Arin’s mind didn’t have enough time to think about Dan anymore. It was the perfect solution. All he had to do was occupy himself. The thoughts couldn’t come if there wasn’t room for them, after all.

So that’s exactly what Arin did.

He started immersing himself in work; answering emails, networking, scheduling, and any other important sounding things he could think of. He started working out again, pushing himself to run just a little bit harder or lift just a little bit more, and it was working. He stopped checking his phone for texts. He stopped checking his phone at all. He felt so much better. So much more awake.

They were behind schedule, and Arin was going to take it upon himself to fix that. As long as everyone followed his lead, things would be alright. Everyone else just had to work as hard as he was, and everything would be perfect.

He stepped out of the shower, drying himself off and making a mental note that he was out of clean towels and that he should do some of the laundry later that day. His reflection in the mirror nodded back at him appreciatively and he took a minute to watch himself. He looked better. Going to the gym was nice. The dark circles under his eyes were beginning to fade too, which was also nice. He was making the right choices.

It felt so surreal to be up before noon on a Saturday. He made Suzy breakfast. It tasted great. Arin felt great.

Everything was perfect.

“I’m doing laundry later by the way, so make sure to dump anything you need done into the pile.” He mentioned as he grabbed her plate.

“Thanks babe.” He glanced at her curiously. Why did she sound so subdued? She was probably just tired, he reasoned with himself. She gave him a peck on the cheek as she passed him by and went up to their bedroom, and he grinned. Everything was perfect.

The doorbell rang, startling him out of his thoughts. He dried his hands and made his way to the front door, Suzy peeping out curiously from the top of the stairs behind him.

He opened it and felt his heart sink in his chest for the first time that week. Brian raised an eyebrow at him. “Are you two busy, or can I come in for a bit?”

It wasn’t that Arin was avoiding Brian the last few weeks or anything- okay, so maybe he was.

Okay, he was. He was definitely avoiding Brian.

If he talked to Brian, he would have to face reality. The man had a way to pierce you without even saying a word, and why would Arin want to do that when everything had been so nice? And yet there Brian was. 

Who would have thought the saying ‘when reality comes knocking at your door’ would have been so literal?

Brian gestured to the space around him and gave Arin an exasperated look. It was raining. Almost robotically, Arin stepped aside and allowed him inside. Suzy came downstairs to greet their friend and as they talked, Arin could feel his skin begin to crawl. What did Brian want? It wasn’t exactly like he visited often, so there was a purpose to him coming over. Arin couldn’t see a reason why Brian would need to visit them at their home on a Saturday afternoon. His perfect Saturday afternoon. There wasn’t any reason that made sense. A name floated into his mind, and almost as a reflex, he suppressed it.

“... Arin?”

“Sorry, what?” He smiled at his wife.

“I asked if you needed anything. I’m going to head out to the office for a quick bit.”

She was going to leave him alone with Brian?

“Oh, did you have something to get done? I can join you since I'm not really busy today.” It was impossible to mask the edge in his voice. She ignored it.

“No worries babe, I'm okay going by myself. I'll leave you two be. Text me if you need anything.” She glanced at Brian, who nodded at her in thanks.

Arin was seriously going to melt into the floor.

Maybe it was just his imagination, but as the door shut behind her, the house really felt like it dropped a few degrees. A shiver went up his spine and he plastered his ‘Company Boss Smile’ on.

“What’s up, dude?”

“How are you doing?”

“I’m perfect, Brian. Are you doing well? How’s Rache-”

“Has Dan come by?”

Right to the point, huh? A bitter laugh tore its way out of Arin’s mouth. “Has he come by? Why would he ever do that?”

Brian’s expression didn’t change. “What do you mean? Arin, have you even _glanced_ at the texts I sent you?”

“I haven’t had time, sorry.”

“That’s complete bullshit.”

“I’ve just been so busy this week I haven’t glanced through all my texts.”

“How old are you?”

“I’m sorry?” He blinked, taken aback.

“You’re in your thirties. Isn’t it about time you handle your problems like an adult?” Brian’s words felt like knives being pushed into his lungs.

“Listen man, I don’t know what your problem is, but-”

Arin was cut off sharply, as Brian’s hands came down on the counter top between them, his face contorting with a flash of anger. “You know what my fucking problem is, Arin? My problem is that for the past _week_ I’ve been trying to convince two fully grown adults to work out their _own_ problems and just talk to each other. You really think running away from everything and pretending that everything is peachy is going to work? Sure, Arin, congratulations. You’ve made your own life easier. But if you would stop acting impulsively for two seconds, you would notice that you’re not the only person that’s hurt.”

He opened his mouth, arguments ready to fire, but the look in Brian’s eyes chilled him into silence.

“I don’t know what happened between you two, okay? Frankly? I don’t care. It’s not my business. What I care about is that both of my friends are happy, and from what I’ve seen? If you two would just fucking _talk_ about whatever happened, things would be a lot less shitty for everyone involved.”

Arin stared back helplessly, so many things on the tip of his tongue, but no will to say any of them. Brian straightened, not once having broken eye contact.  “You don’t know what my problem is, Arin, because you haven’t stopped to think about anyone but yourself.”

“That’s not true, I-”

“Save it. All I want is for you to _consider_ what’s really going on around you and if you feel like you’re ready to finally pick up some responsibility, then drop the act that you’re playing and think about what you should really be doing right now. I’m glad you started being productive again, but how long can you keep all this up before you realize that things are really not okay?”

Brian seethed. He didn’t wait for a response, turning and walking back towards the door.

Arin didn’t follow him.

The door creaked open and Brian’s voice echoed from around the wall. “Checking your texts would be a good start.”

And then he was alone.

Outside, the rain picked up, but Arin couldn’t hear it. He turned his back to the door and glanced around, lost.

The kitchen was so beautiful that morning, but Brian had taken off his rose-coloured glasses. His mind replayed through the events of that morning. Suddenly, he recalled things he hadn't noticed. The way Suzy had slid his phone out of his view on the counter as he kissed her cheerfully, the permanent worry hidden behind her smile as she laughed at his jokes, the faraway look in her eyes as she ate, the unasked and unanswered questions that weren’t spoken because she didn’t want him to be sad, all of it.

‘Everything was perfect’, was it?

He looked towards his phone, completely numb. Checking his texts would be a good start. His feet slid across the floor like they were tied to weighted blocks. He picked it up carefully as if one wrong move would break it.

 

[15 New Messages -- Brian Wecht]

 

Just as he opened his messages, a knock at his door sent his heart straight back into his throat. Was Brian not done with him? What more did he have to say? Wasn't that enough for one night? 

Arin didn’t move. 

The knock grew more urgent, almost as if there was a desperation behind it. He breathed shakily, afraid to make any noise, and set his phone down. The knock persisted. The doorbell rang. Twice. He really wasn’t aware that his hands were shaking until he reached for the handle.

He opened the door and froze.

Dan stared back at him.

“Hi."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let the real story begin :)
> 
> Casual edit: this story was posted five months before the projared thing exploded, so I'm just going to casually remove the bit where I hinted at Ross and Holly being together because I really don't feel comfortable with that anymore lmao whoops.
> 
> Updates to come soon~


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